It's not my party, but I can drink if there's beer
by Jill07
Summary: I will try to post another chapter soon because this one was short. About the story? Mia and the gang end up at a Josh Richter party... the title pretty much explains...
1. The 'feeling' of breaking up

AN: Ok, so Mia and Kenny are together, but just as in the original story, her heart belongs to Michael. Let's see what happens though when Mia gets a little tipsy... A little bit of a Princess Diaries/ 10 Things I hate about you Combination... Oh, and by the way, I AM COMPLETELY HAPPY that this is SOOO much LONGER than my other fanfiction!!!! And even if the story isn't all that good, I feel like I have improved some!! ...Ok... sorry about that!  
  
Mia's POV  
  
This party totally sucks. I am not even joking. But then again it completely sucked even before I got here. Besides all of the things that are wrong with me that I really don't feel like thinking about right now, tonight Kenny topped the list. Yeah, I know he is my boyfriend, but he is a really crappy one. Sure, I am not the greatest girlfriend in the world, what with the whole me not letting him kiss me and the whole I am in love with my best friends brother thing, but here is what happened before we reached Josh Richter's Apartment, (yes, Jock Richter's, I will explain later).  
He tried to feel me up! HE tried to place HIS HANDS under MY shirt!  
IN FRONT OF LARS!  
What kind of person DOES that??? WHO??  
And besides, what did he think he was going to find under there anyway? I could have told him that it would be a total disappointment, IF I HAD BEEN EXPECTING IT!  
But I mean, WHY would he think that I would want his hands on an area of my body that no one except my mother and the doctor who delivered me has seen, (oh, and anyone who might have seen me that time that I went streaking at Lilly's when she dared me)??? I don't even let him kiss me! Doesn't he think that before he goes placing his hands in places like that, we should have frenched kissed first?  
Let me tell you that when he did this, I didn't take to kindly to it. I mean, I'm sitting there in the limo letting him kiss my cheek and then all of the sudden, BAM, there goes his HAND! What I did next was a complete accident, well not really an accident more of a reaction, that I am kind of sorry for if he is never able to have kids, but then again he completely deserved it.  
I kicked him. Yes, I kicked him, and I will give you three guesses where, but the first two don't count.  
'WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING???' I said, glancing over at Lars who I noticed was settling back into his seat, and I'm not sure, but I think that he might have been trying to hold back a laugh because his eyes began to water and he started to cough.  
'...Mia... I thought th..at... well... that since we were alone...' he said bending over and gasping for breath. Have I ever said how much I love my combat boots???  
'ALONE???? DO YOU NOT SEE ANOTHER PERSON IN THE CAR???!!! AND EVEN IF THERE WEREN'T'  
Kenny sat up finally, red faced from what was either lack of oxygen or embarrassment.  
'You mean that even if Lars hadn't been in here, you wouldn't have...'  
'OF COURSE NOT! I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!' Ok, so I really didn't mean to say that last part, but I couldn't really help it. Whether he deserved to know the truth or not, I deserve not having to worry about having a perv- o for a boyfriend.  
I pushed a little button to let down the glass between us and the driver.  
'Could you please stop the limo??'  
'Of course Princess,' he replied. The glass moved back up.  
I thought of Grandmere and put on the scariest look I could think of, minus the drawn on eyebrows, and said in that calm creepy voice that she uses when she is really angry, minus the cigarette inflicted rasp.  
'Kenny, could you please remove yourself from the limo?'  
'But Mia... I didn't..'  
'If you aren't able to remove yourself, should I ask Lars if he could be so kind as to assist you?' The voice must have really worked this time because he quickly got out of the car.  
By this time it was one hundred percent sure that I didn't want to go to any lame party that Josh Richter and all of his jock friends and their cheerleader girlfriends were going to be at, but Lilly had asked me to go to help shoot for her very first show that had been picked up by NBC. It is supposed to reveal how beer companies target teenagers and try to make them believe that getting falling down drunk will make them 'popular'. She is also using it as a way to show the American public exactly how vain and ignorant Josh and Lana are.  
Plus Michael is going to be there.  
How could I refuse Michael AND making a fool of Josh and Lana in front of the entire nation??  
And ok, so obviously it wasn't going to be just Michael, Lilly, Lilly's camera, and I going to the party. The whole school had been invited because Josh was wanting to break some sort of Guinness Book World Record for the most people in a 10 x 15 room and with his parents away in Key West, or somewhere like that, he had the perfect opportunity. We probably still wouldn't have even been invited anyway if it had not been for Lilly volunteering her video camera to use as the proof to send in.  
So Lilly, Shameeka, Ling Su, Boris, Tina, Kenny (ehh...), Michael and I were all going to go, to help support Lilly. Or at least that is what everybody said, but I think that they were all, just like me, pretty curious, about what goes on at parties like that.  
So after crying in the limo for about five minutes, and having Lars cheer me up by promising he wouldn't tell Grandmere about what happened, because, after all he might end up out of a job seeing as I handled the situation pretty well all by myself, we showed up at the Moscovitz's to pick up Lilly and Michael and Boris.  
Only it wasn't just Lilly, Michael and Boris. I might not be the greatest when it comes to Algebra, but I can count four silhouettes behind a dark limo glass.  
When the door opened I finally figured out who the other person was. Judith Gershner.  
Could this day GET any worse???  
I would find out later that it could.  
So they all slid into the limo, which when Judith did, I had this really overwhelming voice in my head that made me want to scream that 'YOU NEVER SLIDE INTO A CAR!' I realized that that probably would have been a total Grandmere move, so I decided not to.  
Lilly started to buckle up and said 'I really hope you don't mind, but Michael and Judith were working on some computer club stuff and since she was coming to the party to we figured she might as well just ride with us.'  
Sure... 'Computer Club Stuff'  
Maybe it's just me, but I am thinking that it was the same 'Computer Club Stuff' that Kenny was trying to go over with me earlier. But I didn't say any of that.  
I put on my most Princessy voice and said, 'Of course, it would be silly for her to have to find another ride.'  
How silly would it be of me to push Judith out of the car? I added in my head.  
'Yeah, so are you excited?' Lilly looked at me. 'What's wrong, why have you been crying?'  
At this point everyone took time to stop and stare at me to find out for themselves that I had been crying.  
'I haven't been crying,' I lied.  
'Yeah, then why are your eyes all puffy and red?' Thanks Lil, way to be supportive if I had been crying, which I had, so, in short, way to be supportive.  
'Allergies.' I could feel my nostrils flaring.  
'We live in New York City. I really don't think that there is a lot of pollen in the air.'  
'Well then I guess it's the smog.'  
'You have most likely been in this smog-free limo for the past 15 minutes, I don't think that that is it.'  
UGH! DOES SHE HAVE TO QUESTION EVERY LIE THAT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH???  
She looked around and smile came across her face.  
Does she really get this much pleasure out of torturing me.  
Is this the only reason that she is my friend???  
'Where's Kenny?'  
'He... well...'  
I glanced around at everyone, leaving my eyes a fraction longer on Michael. I really didn't want to discuss this, especially with him in the car. But I might as well get it over with, they were all probably going to find out anyway, whether it was me, Kenny's big mouth, or the Post.  
'It's over between me and Kenny.' I looked around, and maybe I was just being really stupid but I think I might have saw Michael smiling a little bit.  
'Well, what happend?'  
Must she know every SINGLE TINY detail??? I really wouldn't mind telling her, but I don't feel like telling everyone.  
'It just didn't work out.'  
'Did he break up with you or did you break up with him?'  
I glanced around again and saw that Michael was staring strait at me.  
I looked down.  
'I broke up with him.'  
'WHAT?' Lilly screamed making me jump. 'Then why are you crying?'  
'Lilly I really don't feel like talking about it.' I looked over and saw that Michael had a really happy look on his face. Maybe that's how he stands living with her. He ignores her shrieking and thinks of a happy place.  
'I really don't see why you broke up with him. I mean after going on and on and on about how 'I want a boyfriend, I need a boyfriend, I am such a loser because I don't have a boyfriend,' and you BREAK UP with him?'  
Judith took this time to speak up. 'Well, I always thought the two of you made a really cute couple. But since you are now out there looking again and having a boyfriend means that much to you, I'm SURE I could find you somebody.'  
I know that she is probably just trying to be nice, but I shot her a death glare that even I, the Algebra struggling, talentless freak that I am would have noticed. Unfortunately she didn't.  
Thank God Michael spoke up though.  
'I really don't think that Mia needs any help finding anyone, I mean, she just broke up with Kenny. Besides, I really don't think that it is any of our business.'  
'Thank you, Michael,' I smiled at him and for some reason his face turned red and he looked away. He's probably embarrassed that he spoke up for me, such a loser, in front of his great fruit fly cloning girlfriend.  
'There is someone else isn't there, Mia?' Lilly added.  
I looked to the floor feeling my face burn.  
'Well Mia, tell us, who is it?'  
'No one.'  
'Please tell me it isn't Josh Richter again!'  
Michael looked up at me again, anger visible on his face. He was probably really annoyed that we were still discussing my pathetic love life.  
'Lilly, can we please stop talking about this?' I was begging.  
'Fine Mia, but I will not let you make the same mistake twice.'  
'Lilly, I do not, nor will I ever again, have any sort of romantic feelings for the pathetic loser jerk Josh Richter, ok? Happy?'  
Lilly might not have looked happy, but Michael seemed to be, it must be that he was sensing Lilly would change the topic back to the party that we were heading to.  
All of this horrible stuff happened BEFORE the party, just imagine how bad it was when we got there and it became worse. 


	2. Camera Time

AN: I LOVE you guys!!!! I am not even joking, all of you that reviewed are the GREATEST! And those of you that didn't can also be the greatest, I think you know how! This will be about Mia and what happens at the party. all right... on with the story...  
  
MIA's POV  
  
So, we finally showed up outside Josh Richter's apartment building. You could totally tell which one was his apartment because you could see the shadows of thin, dancing people behind the curtains.  
Lilly had already gotten out her camera by this time and was doing some pre-party interviews. I would tell you that this went great, but then I would be completely lying.  
First, she shoved the camera in front of Lar's face and was like, 'This is my friend, Princess Amelia of Genovia's, faithful bodyguard Lar's. Lar's will you be present at the party?'  
Faithful Bodyguard??? She is completely making me sound like some sort of stuck up princess. The kind that Grandmere wants me to be. But I was kind of glad that she had asked him because I was kind of wondering myself.  
'Uh, no. I will be staying outside in the limo during the party,' Lars answered.  
I was pretty shocked about this. I couldn't believe that Lars was going to leave me alone with a bunch of hormonal teenagers! But maybe it was because he figured that I could hold my own after the whole Kenny fiasco.  
Then Lilly turns to Michael who was sitting beside.. yes, Judith.  
'This would be my dear brother Michael Moscovitz and his fellow computer club member, the president, Judith Gershner. Would it be safe to say that this will be your first date together?'  
My stomach completely flipped in my stomach, and instead of being cool about the whole situation and looking out the window like I was completely bored, my eyes got wide and I searched Michael's face for some sort of response.  
His eyes got pretty wide as well and he glanced at me as well, but didn't respond. Judith did for him...  
She giggled....  
I could have jumped across the limo and strangled her with my bare hands, but then I think I would have had to explain my slightly phsycodic reaction, meaning everyone including Michael would have learned that I was in love with him with every fiber of being. So I couldn't exactly do that, could I?  
So I did the next best thing. I rolled my eyes. And gave a look that I completely wished could kill. But alas, it didn't, so I was forced to listen to the next words that came out of Judith's genius (could have fooled me) mouth.  
'Well, I don't know if it is a real date. I mean, I was kind of hoping that it was. What about you Michael?'  
My face drained of any color that was left after this already horrible night. And then Lilly had to turn the camera on me before I got to hear Michael's response.  
Which could have been a good thing. Because he totally could have been all 'Yes Judith, I love you and your beautiful mind, (ok, so I can't really see Michael saying something these cheesy... but..).  
Or he could have been about to reject Judith and yell at her and tell her to get out of the limo or she will get Lars to beat her up, kind of like I did with Kenny. That would have put a much better spin on the night.  
But, like I said before, Lilly turned the camera on me.  
'This is the Princess of Genovia herself, my best friend, Mia. Mia, could you please tell us what your motives for going to this party would be?'  
'Um, to support you and help you with your show??'  
'Are you sure? Could it be that you are going here to drown your sorrows of being boyfriendless in alcohol.'  
'I don't drink, and besides, I broke up with Kenny.'  
'Could it be that you are going here to confess your undying love to someone that will be there?'  
I got pretty angry.  
'How many times do I have to tell you?!! I DON'T like Josh Richter!'  
She muttered something into the camera that I completely planned on editing out when we got back to her house, because it was undoubtedly about me liking Josh Richter.  
The limo then stopped and Lilly ran out to get a shot of the apartment building.  
The next thing that happened was actually one of the brighter points of the evening.  
Michael got out of the limo and then it was my turn to get out. Just as I was about to get out though he held his hand out to help me. I could have melted right there on the sidewalk!  
Then Judith was getting out of the limo, and Michael kind of just turned around and started talking to me about how obsessed Lilly was becoming with her show now that it was about to be picked up by NBC, and how she had to get psychoanalyzed by their parents because she was wanting to tape them psychoanalyzing her for the show.  
Maybe the fact that he was talking to me instead of Judith, who he was on the date with and he helped me out of the limo instead of her didn't really mean anything. But it did to me.  
We finally made it up the apartment.  
Maybe I am being really snotty, but it really wasn't that impressive. It was about like Michael and Lilly's apartment, which is nice and everything, but Tina's is definitely better. I mean, come on, she has a fountain in her foyer.  
Which is crazy, because you would think that rich people would automatically be the popular people of a school, right? Not so. If it worked that way, Tina would be the Lana of school. I guess it's actually more of an attitude thing. Lana has got plenty more attitude than Tina.  
Anyway...  
Everyone in the whole room just kind of stopped for a second, looked at us like 'who invited those losers?' , and then went back to dancing and everything.  
I was just about to dip myself out some punch when an arm blocked the bowl.  
I looked up and saw Michael staring at me.  
'What's wrong Michael?'  
For a stupid, completely stupid moment, I thought that maybe he was going to confess to me that he was completely in love with me too, and that he really didn't like Judith.  
Instead he reached over grabbed a Coke and handed it to me.  
'Mia, the punch is probably spiked,' he responded.  
'Oh,' I said, my cheeks turning completely red from feeling so stupid and naive.  
Why would Michael ever want to go out with someone as mature as me? Why do I even keep up with this false hope?  
The punch was looking really good by this time.  
And then someone came through the door that made the punch look even better.  
  
AN: hmmmm... I wonder who it might be? Well I don't, because I know who it is. But I don't think you do. Well Ok, so it's slightly obvious... but at least let me act like I am the all-knowing Lorna! 


	3. That's some great 'punch'

AN: You guys STILL Rock!!! I love you!!! Most importantly I love Meg Cabot and the characters that she owns, that I do not own... (disclaimer). So on to the story....  
  
So the door opens... and in rushes Kenny. If I actually had nails and we were outside I would have completely dug myself a hole to climb into. But seeing as that wasn't going to happen anytime soon I kind of just stood there with my mouth kind of hanging open. My face turning red.  
Then, to make things worse, he had to open his mouth.  
'Mia, I am sorry for trying to put my hands under your shirt, I couldn't help myself... I... LOVE YOU!' I should have had a clue by the way he was slurring his words together, but no, I had no idea that he was drunk until he had stumbled his way over to me and placed his nasty alcohol smelling and tasting... yes I tasted it... mouth on me.  
Not only was I completely embarrassed that almost everyone in our whole entire school had seen this, including Lana, who would probably tease me for the rest of my pitiful life. Including Michael, the love of my life. Nope, not only that, but the whole entire United States was probably going to see this, because yes, my wonderful best friend was taping this.  
Fortunately, I only had Kenny's gross mouth on me for like a second, because Michael jumped quickly and pulled him off of me. Then, in a complete movie type fashion, Michael pushed Kenny to the ground.  
He turned to me and was all, 'Mia are you ok?'  
I just kind of stood there with tears forming in my eyes, because that was probably the sweetest thing that anyone had ever done for me.  
Then the tears leaked from my eyes because I realized that the only reason that he had done this was because I was Lilly's best friend. He was here with Judith.  
But before I could choke out a lie and tell him I was fine, just a little wierded out, Kenny had jumped up off of the ground and made his way toward Michael. And before I could warn Michael, who couldn't see Kenny because he was turned around, Kenny had pushed him to the ground, screaming, 'Get away from my girl!'  
I really could have died from the statement, but then I would have never seen Michael wrestle his way on top of Kenny and start flailing him with his fists.  
Finally, after the drunken Kenny had given up on fighting for the love of 'his girl' Michael said in the most venomous voice I had ever heard come from him, more scary a tone than I had ever heard him use with Lilly, 'Get the Hell out of here Showalter, and leave my Mia the Hell alone.'  
I completely would have gotten really excited about this, but I realized that it was clearly a mix up of the mouth. He was having trouble forming words, because even though Kenny was weak and drunk he had somehow managed to find a way to bloody Michael's lip. He had probably just stuttered saying Mia.  
I felt like crying again, but at least Kenny was gone, and I was pretty sure for good.  
Michael turned to me again, all anger gone from his face. I was just about to go and thank him when Judith ran up there with a tissue in her hand, trying to wipe away the blood like a mother trying to wipe her child's nose.  
And just like a child, I couldn't help but notice that Michael looked rather annoyed.  
It was probably because he had to fight a freshman because I was such a huge colossal loser.  
So I went to the punch bowl and poured me a rather large cup.  
Michael had been right when he said that it was spiked. Actually to me it tasted like beer that had just had food coloring added to it.  
My hope was that maybe if I got drunk enough that I would be able to forget that I loved Michael, that I could ignore all of Josh Richter's friends laughing and saying that geek fights were the greatest, and there girlfriends saying in shocked voices that Michael Moscovitz was pretty tough and all wondering out loud and in rather loud voices why in the world he would fight Kenny for me.  
But, sadly, I only got drunk enough to act stupid, really stupid, and the worse part is that I remembered all of it. And even if I didn't, Lilly has it all on tape.  
  
AN: What does Mia do that is soooo stupid???? Review and I will tell you in the next chapter... Don't and I'll still put it in the next chapter anyway.... Sorry this was so short. 


	4. Why can't I sober up?

An: I guess you all probably get sick of hearing this, so I won't say it... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! ... I couldn't help it, it slipped! Sorry it took so long, I know I promised that I would write sooner since the last chapter was short, but school is kind of more important... I know it shouldn't be... but once we are out for summer, I should get better at getting these up faster... no tan lines for me... ehh... I'm scared of the sun anyway...  
  
So there I stood, and after gulping down a great big glass of spiked punch, I had already refilled my cup, and who comes rushing over? Yes, that's right, Michael.  
'Mia,' he said, pulling the cup from my face, 'I thought I told you that was spiked.'  
This is what he had pulled himself away from the clutches of Ms. House Fly... I mean Fruit Fly, to tell me?  
I smiled widely, 'Gee Michael, I heard you, you didn't stutter, ok? I am a ffffffreshman in hhhhhhighschool... and I don't need Lilly's big.. bad... older brother to tell me what to do. Ok?' I paused and looked at him. 'Ok,' I answered myself.  
'That really doesn't seem to be the case Mia,' he said softly, with a sad look on his face. Then he walked away.  
I laughed, because for some reason, it was the only reaction I had. I looked over and there stood Lilly with her camera shoved up in someone's face.  
I skipped over to her.  
Yes, you read correctly, I skipped.  
Well not before I gulped down another cup of punch.  
'Lils-a-bils..?' I started laughing hysterically as she turned the camera to my face. I slapped at it playfully.  
'Mia are you drunk?'  
This sent me into another fit of giggles.  
'I don't know...hee hee..'  
'Mia? Did you have any punch??'  
'Punch,' I said in what I thought was an innocent voice. 'Yeah, Michael did punch Kenny didn't he? That was great. I really didn't like him anyway.' I started laughing again.  
'Speaking of Punch, do you want some LilBilly?'  
'No, Mia, that's ok, and I don't think that you should have anymore.'  
'Gees.. what's with you Moscovovo.. Moscivicho... Mos-co-vi-tz?...ha ha, that's funny when you say it slow... Why are you all such sticks in the dirt?'  
'You mean mud?'  
'There you go Lilly, thinking you are such a genious, just because you know the difference between dirt and mud... I'll talk to you later, this is a good song!'  
Sadly, the song I was referring to was 'Baby Boy,' by Beyonce, not that it is a bad song, but, well, it motivated me to run in the middle of a bunch of jocks, and start pulling of moves that I only do when I am home, all by myself in the apartment.  
Did you know that I know all of the moves to the video by heart?  
So, yes, the jocks started whistling at me, and throwing me ones, I guess thinking someone had called that little shop down on the corner.  
This was, yet again, another time where Michael showed up, and to my embarassment now, and sadly not at the time, he tried to rescue me from myself.  
'Mia, why don't you come over here?'  
'What Moscovitz? You want your own personal lap dance?' Josh Richter yelled out.  
I laughed. I laughed.  
Kill me.  
Aparently Michael wished that someone would, his face turned like fifty shades of red.  
'Aww... Come on Michael, I can if you want.'  
'..Mia..'  
'Don't worry, I won't tell Judith.'  
By this time, he must have gotten really angry, because he walked over, grabbed my arm and dragged me into a room. He didn't grab me roughly or anything though, because Michael isn't like that, Michael is the greatest guy in the world, even when I am annoying and drunk.  
'Mia, just what in the world is wrong with you?'  
'Well, I had some of that punch, and let me tell you, it has some great kick to it!'  
I started giggling again.  
'Mia, come on, I am going to go get you some coffee. '  
'I don't want any coffee, it stunts your growth, turns your teath yellow, and it's gross.'  
'Well if you don't sober up, I can tell that you are going to be a lot worse off then some yellow-toothed midget.'  
I started crying.  
How can one going from laughing like a freaking hyena one second to bawling like a baby the next?  
This was were Michael pulled me up into this great big hug. God I love him.  
'Michael, I am soooo sorry that I have been acting like such an idiot- jerk. I can't help it, and I guess I should have listened to you when you told me not to drink, but Kenny came here and embarassed the crap out of me, and then Lilly with her stupid camera in everybody's face, and then the jocks, and you and Judith and..'  
'Me and Judith?'  
'Yeah, you all being a couple and everything?'  
Am I still drunk? I think so.  
He started laughing at me, and I started giggling as well, having no clue what he was laughing about. Yep, I'm really still drunk.  
'What's so funny?'  
'You think me and Judith...'  
'Judith and I, gosh Michael, you are supposed to be a genius.'  
'Whatever. You think that we are a couple?'  
'Don't think you can fool me, I know what Computer Cub Stuff means, trust me, Kenny tried to tutor me in it this afternoon.'  
'Kenny.... ugh...'  
'Yeah, just imagine him trying to put his hands under your shirt. eh... that's a little... creepy....'  
'Yeah, but, why does it upset you that Judith and I might be a couple?'  
'Because l love you.'  
When does this crap freaking wear off?  
'Mia, it's just the beer talking,' he said in a strangled voice.  
Then I kissed him. That was the best kiss that I have ever had in my life. Nothing like Kenny, or the back of my hand.  
But all good things must come to an end. He pulled away.  
'Mia, I'm sorry, I guess I'm no better than Kenny,' from what I can remember he sounded defeated. But you know what, what do I know? I was drunk.  
'I didn't ant Kenny, I want you Michael.'  
'You don't know what you are saying,' and he backed out the door. 


	5. Pukey Princess

AN: Wow you guys, it's been over a year since I have updated. Sorry about that, really. My family started building a house and things just got crazy. Actually, it's just that I didn't get enough reviews last chapter... so... if you REALLY want it, you know what you have to do! 

Mia's POV

So, where was I? Oh yeah. Me + Beer (Michael knowing I love him) X (Him walking away from me). Ha... and I have a D in Algebra. I just need to be given more real life situations.  
I sat there on the bed for a couple of seconds. The sober part of me, (let me just say, a very small percentage), was all, 'Oh my God what did I just do.' The slightly,  
(maybe not so slight) was distracted by the poster of the Backstreet Boys peeking out from under Josh Richter's bed. That part also began laughing, again, and stumbled back through the door to the main party area.  
Before I could reach the punch bowl Lilly cam up to me with her camera. 'Mia? I'm serious, even though it would be completely interesting, from a psychological point of view, to see you more drunk than you are now, as your best friend, I can't let you do it'  
'Lilly, I can do what I want. No one can stop me, I'm Prince Amelia Margaret... I mean, Mignoette... Thermopopolis Renaldo the 16th, a.k.a. Queen of the Jungle. Roar!' Sadly enough, I completely had a hand movement with that roar.  
'Alright, you do what you want, but if you take another drink of that punch I will have Lars up here'  
'You wouldn't,' I said in one of those completely dramatic dun-dun-duh voices.  
'Try me,' I didn't have to be sober to know that Lilly meant business.  
'Fine, be that way.' I straightened my shoulders and turned to walk away. Only I stopped. Stopping is not good, not for a drunk person, because when your body isn't moving, that means that your mouth is. 'You look like a pug,' I said over my shoulder. 'And not in a good way'  
All I can say is Thank God Lilly is as intelligent as she is. Thank God she is so confident in herself and so intelligent that she didn't let the words of an idiot drunk hurt her. Otherwise I would never be able to forgive myself. Never. Instead of breaking down into tears, like a lesser person would have done if their best friend of so many years would have said they looked like a pug, she just rolled her eyes and walked away.  
That's when I saw it happen. Lilly had been blocking it while I had been talking to her. Right behind her, sitting on a love seat of all things, was Michael. Only Michael wasn't sitting by himself. Nope. There was Judith Gershner, not only just sitting on the Love Seat with Michael, and not only just sitting closely beside him. No, she was HALF-WAY ON TOP OF HIM.  
And he was taking no action against it. None whatsoever. She probably had her tongue... I don't even want to think of where her tongue was, and he wasn't stopping it.  
Let's just say that from now on I will be much kinder to that old man who sleeps on the bench next to the penguin house at Central Park from now, because guess what? Drunks have feelings too. Which I must have been thinking about at the time, because I shouted, in what everyone else must have though was complete randomness, 'IF YOU PRICK US DO WE NOT BLEED?' Then I sat down, right in the middle of the entire room and started crying.  
And Lana walking by and saying to Josh, 'God, geeks just don't know how to handle their alcohol,' only made me sob harder.  
Finally Tina came over and drug me into the bathroom, where I would have been crying privately in the first place if it hadn't been for the liquor.  
'Mia, what's going on'  
'I'm drrrruuunnnkkk' I wailed.  
'Well, yeah. That's kind of obvious, but what happened'  
'Tina, I can't even be a good drunk. I can't have fuuuunnn... I just crrryyy. And I've messed up all over, I told Lilly she looked like a pug, and I danced to Baby Boy and I told Michael I lovvveee him'  
'What! You told Michael you love him? What did he say?' 'Hello? Tina? Did you hear me, I showed everyone my secret moves to Baby Boy,' I began to sob again.  
'Mia,' Tina shook me a little bit. 'What happened when you told Michael that you love him'  
I stopped crying suddenly and giggled a bit. 'I can't tell and kiss'  
'WHAT? YOU KISSED'  
'Weeeeelllll... maybe we did,' here I winked, 'and maybe we didn't. What I can tell you though is,' I dropped my voice to a whisper, 'Josh Richter has a Backstreet Boys poster. I'm thinking that he might be a Moulen Rouge fan too, if you catch my boat'  
'You mean drift'  
'No. I mean boat. You can't catch a drift in your hand. But you can catch a boat. Well not a big boat, but maybe a toy'  
'What happened after you kissed Michael'  
'He ran away and stttarttedd kissssiing... Juddiittthh.' Yeah, I was crying again.  
'Mia, maybe we should get you home, get some food for you'  
'Home? I can't go home! Not like this'  
'Fine, we will take you to Lilly's, her parents aren't home anyway,' Tina said waving her hand.  
'I can't do that, Michael will be there,' I said, staring at her hand.  
'Well, just stay in Lilly's room,' there she went, waving her hand again.  
I felt the room begin to spin as I followed her hand. I felt cold but I could tell I was sweating.  
'Tina? I think I'm dying'  
And right there, on Josh Richter's nice marble bathroom floor, I puked. 


End file.
